Eversoris
February 26th, 2009, 08:26 PM
Hi everyone; I joined this board recently out of hype for 2k9 and have relied on it for news, videos, and basic conversation with hardcore baseball fans, which is always nice. I've noticed something disturbing however...there is no Mets franchise. This offense against nature and all that is holy cannot continue, so here we go...
http://new-york-mets.visit-new-york-city.com/ny-mets-3d-logo.jpg
NEW YORK - AP: In many ways, 2009 is a season of redemption for the Amazins. After finishing 2007 with a historic collapse, the Mets played their new rival, and eventual NL East champion Phillies well, winning the season series 11-7, including classic games in both the booming Citizen's Bank Park (which gave the Mets their season's share of boo's,) and the soon-to-be demolished Shea Stadium (R.I.P.) However, the Mets good fortune against the Phils couldn't translate into dominance against the rest of the National League, as they missed the playoffs by one game, to the fortune of the Milwaukee Brewers, and the borrowed arm of C.C. Sabathia. However, as every Mets fan will tell you, this is a new season, with new faces, a new stadium, and new attitudes, and these Mets intend to provide a new championship banner to the City of New York.
----
The Mets have broken camp with a defined lineup. Manager Jerry Manuel has announced it as such:
1) Castillo 2B
2) Reyes SS
3) Wright 3B
4) Delgado 1B
5) Beltran CF
6) Murphy LF
7) Church RF
8) Santana P
9) Schneider C
Some points of interest: After examining the top two hitters' stats and potential, the manager has flipped Castillo and Reyes. Many fans were perplexed, promised to have Reyes as the perpetual lead-off man, but defending the controversial move is the manager, Jerry Manuel...
http://www1.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/New+York+Mets+Name+Jerry+Manuel+Interim+Manager+rd l-IO54AEml.jpg
Manuel: Why have you strange and ugly people called me to this uncomfortably little and humid room?
NY Times reporter: Sir, why have you dropped Jose Reyes to the 2 hole, behind a man who hit below .260 last year?
Manuel: Well it's pretty simple Mr. Floating Chihuahua...you see, Castillo had an O.B.P. five or so points lower than Reyes did last year, while having the worst season of his career, so I figure after losing 17 pounds this off season, he'll be on base about 8 times out of 10. I'm serious.
NY Times reporter: Uhh...that would make Luis Castillo the single season walks and hits record holder...sure you don't want to retract that statement?
Manuel: Listen here Mr. Vacuum Cleaner, Brian Schneider will hit ninth and hit 27 home runs, and...
Newsday reporter: 27 home runs?!
Manuel: If you teakettles want to trap me in this hell hole and ask me questions please keep your holes covered with either a glass or tin cover. Now, Oliver Perez will hit 27 home runs, hit a few half court 3 pointers, and finish the season with a nice recital of My Fair Lady along with our newest bullpen acquisitions.
Reporters:...
Mets P.R. man (Jay Horowitz): That'll be all, I'd like to thank members of the press for stopping by...
---
Pitching rotation:
Johan Santana
Mike Pelfrey
Oliver Perez
John Maine
Freddy Garcia/Tim Redding/Livan Hernandez/Jon Niese/Bobby Parnell/???/Profit!
---
NEW YORK - AP: Hearing news of being dropped to the 2 hole in the lineup, Jose Reyes was approached on a seedy Manhattan avenue for his opinion:
http://www.hotstovenewyork.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/reyes4.jpg
Reporter: Mr. Reyes, how do you feel about your new role on the team?
Reyes: New role? Pff, you peasants and your lower class words. You want to know what I'm going to do this season? I'm going to buy 3 or 4 Ferraris to add to my fleet of ships made from land vehicles, and maybe I'll drop one of by your mother's house for payment, haha!
Reporter: That's awfully rude sir...
*Just then, two ladies walk up to Jose, obviously enamored...*
Reyes: Who are these horse faces? You there, serf, remove these obstructions from my sight, for I am late for my tea bath.
After the interview circulated through local media, the Mets shortstop has been released from his Gatorade endorsement contract.
---
Alright guys, this is where the story suspends for now, how do you like it so far? Obviously, I will bring humor to this franchise to keep it fresh and amusing throughout a long season. Manuel and Reyes aren't like that in reality, and their dazed alcoholic (Manuel) and playboy elitish ********* (Reyes) personalities are pure fabrications.
Community feedback is a huge part of this operation I call 'Get revenge on teams with white and red as official colors if it kills us'. Rolls off the tongue doesn't it? Thanks for reading!
http://new-york-mets.visit-new-york-city.com/ny-mets-3d-logo.jpg
NEW YORK - AP: In many ways, 2009 is a season of redemption for the Amazins. After finishing 2007 with a historic collapse, the Mets played their new rival, and eventual NL East champion Phillies well, winning the season series 11-7, including classic games in both the booming Citizen's Bank Park (which gave the Mets their season's share of boo's,) and the soon-to-be demolished Shea Stadium (R.I.P.) However, the Mets good fortune against the Phils couldn't translate into dominance against the rest of the National League, as they missed the playoffs by one game, to the fortune of the Milwaukee Brewers, and the borrowed arm of C.C. Sabathia. However, as every Mets fan will tell you, this is a new season, with new faces, a new stadium, and new attitudes, and these Mets intend to provide a new championship banner to the City of New York.
----
The Mets have broken camp with a defined lineup. Manager Jerry Manuel has announced it as such:
1) Castillo 2B
2) Reyes SS
3) Wright 3B
4) Delgado 1B
5) Beltran CF
6) Murphy LF
7) Church RF
8) Santana P
9) Schneider C
Some points of interest: After examining the top two hitters' stats and potential, the manager has flipped Castillo and Reyes. Many fans were perplexed, promised to have Reyes as the perpetual lead-off man, but defending the controversial move is the manager, Jerry Manuel...
http://www1.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/New+York+Mets+Name+Jerry+Manuel+Interim+Manager+rd l-IO54AEml.jpg
Manuel: Why have you strange and ugly people called me to this uncomfortably little and humid room?
NY Times reporter: Sir, why have you dropped Jose Reyes to the 2 hole, behind a man who hit below .260 last year?
Manuel: Well it's pretty simple Mr. Floating Chihuahua...you see, Castillo had an O.B.P. five or so points lower than Reyes did last year, while having the worst season of his career, so I figure after losing 17 pounds this off season, he'll be on base about 8 times out of 10. I'm serious.
NY Times reporter: Uhh...that would make Luis Castillo the single season walks and hits record holder...sure you don't want to retract that statement?
Manuel: Listen here Mr. Vacuum Cleaner, Brian Schneider will hit ninth and hit 27 home runs, and...
Newsday reporter: 27 home runs?!
Manuel: If you teakettles want to trap me in this hell hole and ask me questions please keep your holes covered with either a glass or tin cover. Now, Oliver Perez will hit 27 home runs, hit a few half court 3 pointers, and finish the season with a nice recital of My Fair Lady along with our newest bullpen acquisitions.
Reporters:...
Mets P.R. man (Jay Horowitz): That'll be all, I'd like to thank members of the press for stopping by...
---
Pitching rotation:
Johan Santana
Mike Pelfrey
Oliver Perez
John Maine
Freddy Garcia/Tim Redding/Livan Hernandez/Jon Niese/Bobby Parnell/???/Profit!
---
NEW YORK - AP: Hearing news of being dropped to the 2 hole in the lineup, Jose Reyes was approached on a seedy Manhattan avenue for his opinion:
http://www.hotstovenewyork.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/reyes4.jpg
Reporter: Mr. Reyes, how do you feel about your new role on the team?
Reyes: New role? Pff, you peasants and your lower class words. You want to know what I'm going to do this season? I'm going to buy 3 or 4 Ferraris to add to my fleet of ships made from land vehicles, and maybe I'll drop one of by your mother's house for payment, haha!
Reporter: That's awfully rude sir...
*Just then, two ladies walk up to Jose, obviously enamored...*
Reyes: Who are these horse faces? You there, serf, remove these obstructions from my sight, for I am late for my tea bath.
After the interview circulated through local media, the Mets shortstop has been released from his Gatorade endorsement contract.
---
Alright guys, this is where the story suspends for now, how do you like it so far? Obviously, I will bring humor to this franchise to keep it fresh and amusing throughout a long season. Manuel and Reyes aren't like that in reality, and their dazed alcoholic (Manuel) and playboy elitish ********* (Reyes) personalities are pure fabrications.
Community feedback is a huge part of this operation I call 'Get revenge on teams with white and red as official colors if it kills us'. Rolls off the tongue doesn't it? Thanks for reading!